If you live in Chicago and listen to any sports radio or talk to people who fancy themselves to be sports-radio personalities but are really just middle-aged people who complain a lot, you know that everyone is talking about bunting. The Cubs don't bunt enough. The Cubs bunt too much. Junior Lake should never bunt. I want bundt cake (that's just me, but it does sound good right now). Last night at the Cubs game, some Cubs "fan" (he yelled "you suck!" at every player on both teams) said that Junior Lake should never bunt,
"Well," I said, "Lake can't hot off-speed pitches. So the bunt is probably his best chance to advance the runner."
"But just listen," he said, touching my arm briefly, leaning closely into my space with his beer breath,"Junior Lake is a power hitter. You don't ever have your power hitter bunt."
"Well, Lake is only considered our power hitter because when he first came up he was hitting bombs, but since the teams have figured out he can't hit off-speed pitches, his power numbers have fallen. To zero."
"You just like him because he's [good-looking (my paraphrase)]."
"Well, I don't really like him, and he is good-looking. What I was saying is, the bunt was the right choice."
And then his friend got involved. "How do you know so much about baseball? You're a girl."
"I guess I am a girl," I conceded.
"He just means," Beer-Breath jumped in "that you don't seem like you would know anything about baseball."
"Ah. That makes more sense."
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