The weather was perfect,
Perfect for grilling, you would say.
This is what it would have looked like:
You, out on your patio, grilling.
Me in the living room, texting,
Ballgame on in the background.
I'd switch it from Cubs when you walked in.
You'd watch the Sox, then Hawks, then Sox again,
And I would turn it to the Cubs game
When you checked on the grill.
You'd say dinner would be ready in 30.
It was always more like 60.
I'd watch the clock, check my phone.
"What is it you're doing?"
You would ask, because you didn't get it.
You would rather talk to me,
But I was checking all the social media outlets
Or texting friends, wondering,
Had I stayed long enough yet?
How many times did you ask me over
And I didn't come?
Why was I so busy?
How hard would it have been to sit on your couch,
Watching the ball games, eating your food?
The end came swiftly.
I didn't get to say goodbye to you.
I said goodbye to someone else
In a body that didn't even look like yours.
When I visited you, I turned on
The Hawks, the Bears, the Bulls,
Whoever was playing.
You were mostly asleep, but I thought
Maybe it would help.
Time in hospice is so misleading
Because it is exactly the same amount
Slow and fast, dragging and flying by.
The last game you watched,
The Bears were on
You were in your hospice bed,
I was at your side.
I tried to tell you what was happening,
But, remember, I was never that into football.
I made some terms up, and laughed,
Because it was funny, you, dying,
While your beloved daughter
Described what was happening to your
Beloved Bears.
I promised you time that you didn't have.
You slept fitfully
While Charles Tillman and Jay Cutler
And a few other guys lost the game.
I thought, couldn't you just win this one for him?
You died a week before Christmas.
You never saw the Cubs win a pennant.
You never saw Fenway in person.
You never went to Argentina.
But you did get those 1985 Bears,
The Bulls of the 90s,
The Hawks the summer before you died,
And the 2005 White Sox.
You had a lot of dreams.
I wish I had just one more week.
I couldn't give you a Cubs pennant,
But we could have gone to Fenway.
